Between Two Devils

I was given a sweater by a Mexican family member who did not realize  the figure on the front was Donald Trump.  She gave Christmas sweaters  to all family members and this was the only sweater available in my  size.  It has Trump`s orange face with the words “Make X-Mas Great  Again.”  Other people realized the absurdity of the sweater I was  wearing and thought it was really humorous.  Although I hardly speak of  politics people understood that I was in no way a supporter of racism, nationalism, fundamentalist religion and any other feeble  ideas that Trump embodies.  Also, it was humorous when I grabbed a beer can from a nearby person because everybody understood I do not even  drink alcohol.  I would have to be very drunk and kill many brain cells in order to believe in any of this.  Being a Texan myself I understand how so many people fall between the extremities of alcoholism and desperately accepting fundamentalist religion or following a political leader when the beer guzzling no longer works for them. This is the devil of my past.

The devil of my present is another variation on the theme of alcoholism.  I love living in Mexico but it is often very difficult to hang out with the men because of so much machismo.  Most of them have problems with alcohol and damage their families so much with their infidelity.  They leave traces of suffering in their children that only promote the vicious cycle of abandonment, depression and alcoholism. In a sick and alcoholic society there are few healthy paths.  It is agony to live with and understand the bad karma of the suffering these men cause their families and their society.  To be around them is to feel the mind drop to the lower chakras with such violence, like a kick in the nuts.  To find a man with dignity who takes care of himself and his family is something very precious in this society.

Maybe they are not people who commit femicides but they kill the happiness of their families with their brutality.  It is only a difference in the degree of brute machismo that separates a drunken man who decieves his family and a man who actually commits femicide.  

I do not really believe in a central, eternal evil force.  Evil is too selfish, divisive and self destructive to remain organized for too long.  However, I do think that our falls into negative states of thought and emotion leave destructive impressions in the collective mind.  A certain negative archetype is created when people fall into negative existential patterns.  These patterns become charged as more people participate in them until these patterns are so empowered they begin to act on other people who are not yet under their influence.  It is as if all of the pure and highly potent consciousness that we as a species have surrendered into these base and compulsive states of mind now consciously act to pull our minds further into unconsciousness.  All of the consciousness that we have lost has now turned against us and feeds off of what is left of our noble and conscious selves.  All thoughts and emotions are alive and charged with mental archetypes that are fed by so many minds who have contributed to them.  

I stopped drinking alcohol when I was a student. I never drank to the  point of getting sick but I began to feel depressed after drinking.  Instead of drinking more to cover the depression (which is what I saw so  many people doing) I simply quit. Meditation helped with that. Later I  helped other people stop drinking by teaching yoga and meditation to  them. I used to see light social drinking as pretty harmless but have  seen friends and family fall into heavier drinking problems. I now avoid  social situations when people drink alcohol; not so much out of  prejudice but because the energetic vibration is dense. The bottles open  and people`s auras go dark. They seem happy because they escape into a  stupor of unconsciousness. I perceive this on the subjective  mental-energetic level but there is tangible scientific evidence of its  destructiveness as well. A recent study I read in The Guardian reveals how <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/may/18/any-amount-of-alcohol-consumption-harmful-to-the-brain-finds-study">any amount of alcohol consumed reduced brain gray matter density</a>.

A yogi once said that worldly pleasures are like a dog chewing on a sharp bone. The poor dog doesn't even understand that he is enjoying his own blood. I believe that there are some worldly pleasures that one can enjoy in a balanced manner . Being very aware of the senses makes the senses more alive and one feels that the spirit is enjoying through one, that it is enjoying being embodied in the human form with all the colors, smells, tastes and sounds of the sensory world. It is not the same as the compulsion where one loses consciousness in sheer and desperate sensation.

Alcohol is the most deceitful of desires. It kills your brain while you think you are feeling pleasure, just like the dog chewing on his bone. At least when you eat too much and gain weight you can change your diet and exercise and return to a normal state of health, for example. It is not the same with alcohol. Any amount kills the gray matter of the brain that doesn't regenerate. One is left more foolish and unable to distinguish between what is healthy and not what is healthy.


According to the practice and philosophy of yoga, the brain, organs  and glands must be balanced and healthy to develop spiritual awareness.  Alcohol kills the brain and liver and is therefore a poison. A little  alcohol is a little poison and a lot of alcohol is a lot of poison. But  is it more destructive than political-religious dogma that also kills finer ideas?

Here is an article that I wrote about how to transmute addictions into healthier desires with meditation and yoga.

Pleasures, Habits, Addictions, and the “5M” Of Tantra

A friend writes to me the other day and asks how he can leave behind  some worldly habits that prevent him from being able to dedicate himself  to meditation. They are common habits that many people enjoy but that  serious meditators have left behind. So, if many other people have  overcome habits of enjoying alcohol, tobacco, meat, and drugs then it is  certainly possible that any other person of similar determination may  also transcend these habits. If only we can understand the methods of  which these meditators successfully used to leave behind their habits  and commit themselves to the practice of meditation then we may detect a  pattern that can be taught to others really struggling to break these  habits.

I will speak not just from my own experience but from the experience  of many friends and students who have become dedicated meditators. Most  of us stopped drinking and smoking in the like in a very gradual manner.  While at the same time we started practicing a little mediation and  yoga. By getting some positive feelings and natural highs we became  convinced that it is possible to feel really good and even better than  drinking alcohol or smoking something, however the habits were still  present. Furthermore, these habits were almost always socially enforced  by our friends and family. I always told my students that they never had  to break their habits abruptly and that in fact this could have adverse  consequences. Stopping a habit requires a lot of repression and this  repression may bounce back with a fury that creates so much tension that  one decides to leave meditation altogether because it simply creates  too much stress. Instead, one should gradually reduce habits. At the  same time one becomes just a little more disciplined, one should  concurrently gradually reduce the amount or frequency of alcohol,  cigarettes, etc. consumed. This approach is called “systematic  withdrawal.” If one notices that one is just a little less bound to  one´s addictions and is also beginning to feel the benefits of  meditation, then some confidence is inspired.

Really, what we need is confidence in ourselves, in our will to  change. Perhaps, it is lack of confidence and firm determination that  one can succeed, cope, or overcome that leads one into addictions to  begin with. Sometimes addictions are simple social and personal habits  but so often we develop addictive habits so as to cover up some tension,  neurosis, or complex. This is another important reason to gradually  reduce habits, because we may be opening a Pandora´s box, a door into  something unconscious that the ego is not yet ready to see, accept, and  integrate. So confidence must develop gradually. It is important to  spend time with people who foster this confidence. It gives one an  example of successful integration and the good counsel of such teachers  helps one onward. If one remains alone with one´s habits trying to  overcome them without these examples then the task is so much more  difficult.

Once one begins to have confidence and a strong will then one is able  to fully leave the habit. With this freedom one feels that your mind  belongs to you, that nothing can bind it. However this is where we must  be careful because there is always some other habit, some other hidden  tendency waiting to disturb the newly found peace. A tantric meditator  should understand this principle, that there is no peace without  struggle, and every victory gained should be an accumulation of strength  for the next battle. Maybe one has overcome alcohol and meat and the  sexual urge is somewhat placated, but what next? Later we move into  psychological habits, perhaps mental patterns and defenses for the ego.  Now we have to deal with the roots of anger, fear, and insecurity. Now  the habits are no longer physical, but psychological. And so the drama  continues passing through lower psychological complexes toward resolving  more subtle psychological complexes until our meditation leads us into a  more spiritual state of existence.

In tantra there is a concept called the 5 M. The “Ms” are sanskrit  words that begin with M: Madya, Mamsa, Matsya, Mudra, and Maithuna. The  words are for the habits of wine, meat, fish, social company, and  sexuality. The idea is that the practitioner may begin practice with  these habits but gradually understand the true meaning of why one is  attached to such things. There is a crude as well as subtle  interpretation of each M. By gradually understanding the subtle longing  of a desire one can let go of the crude habit and find what one is truly  desiring.

Madya is wine. The spiritual connotation is divine nectar, or amrta.  It is easy to understand the desire for alcohol. Alcohol is something  that some people enjoy with moderation but at the same time it is a  great disease that destroys not just the lives of individuals and their  families but entire societies as well. Here in Mexico the vast majority  of men are alcoholics. It is amazing for me to consider this and has far  reaching disastrous effects into family and cultural life. What one  seeks in the bottle is Spirit, and the more one seeks it the less Spirit  is actually there. Meditation gives us a true enebriation and we feel  that some bio-chemical process is also trigerred, however it does not  leave us in a state of stupor and a compulsive desire to continue  looking for such a passing, destructive pleasure. When the mind becomes  purified through yoga and meditation the pineal gland becomes more  active and gives one a sweet state of spiritual “intoxication.” This  feeling is lasting and does not damage the liver like alcohol. The  emotions are not suppressed like in drunkenness where one escapes into a  temporary state of pleasure. Instead one begins to see the mind and  heart from this sweet state of spiritual intoxication. The complexes and  problems of life are accepted and integrated with such clarity and the  state of happiness or bliss only continues to increase until it becomes  infinite, or “ananda.”

A student recently wrote to me to tell me that he now often  experiences states of bliss after his meditation that he likens to LSD.  He has never even tried LSD but he always imagined such a state as the  closest approximation to his current experiences. So many times I have  had other students who said they felt like they were on mushrooms,  stoned, or enebriated with alcohol. Many of them have tried these  substances but after the practice of yoga left them and found higher  joys. They used the analogies of tripping or being enebriated because  these states are the best way to explain these “altered” states of  awareness to those who cannot understand the pure and balanced joys of  spiritual ideation.

When one uses an external, or “exogenous” substance to activate one’s  inner neurochemistry, one is really only stimulating one’s internal  “endogenous” substances like neurotransmitters, neuropeptides, and  hormones. Did nature evolve the human brain over billions of years so  that people could only discover their internal neurochemical states  through psychedelics and alcohol? After so many centuries of  materialstic thought it has become so rare that humans naturally  discover these states through mysticism, aesthetics and natural,  balanced living. Ignorant people argue that one should not worry about  spiritual discipline when it is much easier and quicker to use a  substance to achieve a mystical state of consciousness. Only  superficially does this appear to be true. There are always side effects  to quickly attained states of awareness. Instead of gradually  fine-tuning the nervous system to cultivate these states as second  nature, one instead blasts the mind with an experience that is very much  different that one’s normal state of awareness. A yogi slowly accustoms  the mind and body to spiritual ecstacy and so therefore maintains this  state in balance and experiences it regularly. As such, the mystical  state of awareness becomes permanent knowlege instead of a temporary  experience. I always hear that one´s first ayahuascar or mushroom  experiences are the strongest. Later, one cannot have the same depth of  experience even with higher doses.

Although power plants may give one some initial insight into  mysticism, these states are simply not sustainable. However, such  experiences are far better than using alcohol. One who intoxicates with  alcohol is in spiritual darkness. Alcohol is the crudest and most  deceptive substance that human beings have discovered.

While there is always a drinker who surprises one with a degree of  spiritual insight, however, I believe this speaks more to a strong  character resistant to poison. How many such strong souls are there? How  many have enough reserve vitality to resist the slow but certain pull  into deadened consciousness, damaged organs and ruined families? Having  seen so many fall, I suppose my point of view has evolved into something  similar to a person who has passed through Alcoholics Anonymous and  views the use of alcohol as a personal, social and spiritual disease.  And living in Mexico where at least half of the men are alcoholics has  only strengthened this view.</

Mamsa is meat. The animal mind craves intense sensual pleasure. When  we know not of subtle desires then the tongue is also crude and desires  flesh. Carnivorous habits keep us bound to other compulsions as well.  Vegetarians begin to feel a certain lightness in their existence and can  more easily understand spiritual ideas. Mamsa´s subtle interpretation  is control of speech. From a calmer and more introverted state of  existence one sees more clearly the mental habits and their expressions  and is able to regulate their expressions, not just with how one speaks  but with how one thinks and feels.

Matsya means fish. Eating fish is the same as eating meat. However,  the subtle interpretation of Matsya refers to controlling the Ida and  pingula energetic currents through yoga and more specifically pranayama,  the control of breath. The Ida current is the lunar, centripetal, calm  and inward current of the mind. Ida controls inner thoughts and  feelings. The Pingala is the solar, centrifugal, vigorous and external  current of the mind. It is more related to external actions and  movements. Ida and Pingala are states for the brain and nervous system.  By regulating the inward and outward currents, the vigorous and calm,  the introverted and extroverted, one finds stillness. The Ida and  Pingala are said to be two subtle energetic currents that twist around  the central current of the Shushumna, in the very center of the spinal  column. The image of the Cadaceus is a western image for the Ida,  Pingala, and Shushumna. Pranayama is the yogic breathing practice of  alternating the respiration through the left and right nostrils. The  right nostril controls the Pingala solar current while the left nostril  controls the Ida lunar current. By concentrating the respiration on a  point in the center of the spinal column, both Ida an Pingala merge into  the central current of the Shushumna. The breathing becomes very slow  and steady through Pranayama breath control until eventually it stops.  One enters a state of breathlessness where the mind is completely  stilled. The body enters a state of stasis with full vitality but the  mind stops and one sees Spirit in a pure and calm state, like the  reflection of the moon on placid waters.

Mudra means posture. In this context of the 5 Ms it refers to social  company. One may remain in the company of people who enforce worldly  habits or one may seek spiritual company. I have received tremendous  help from the company of spiritual people. Not only does one see an  example of spirituality and ask questions and receive counsel but there  is also a subtle energy emanated into the environment where spiritual  people gather. Regular, collective meditation helps generate such a mind  field and really helps people to concentrate. For a beginner this is  very important because it is so difficult to concentrate. It is as if  each individual mind gets focused and together each mind is a ray of a  laser that helps to break through mental barriers.

Maithuna means sexual intercourse. One does not have to renounce  sexuality in order to meditate. However, the more energy that is used in  sexuality the less energy one has for meditation. Therefore one should  gradually reduce sexual intercourse so as to have more stamina for  meditation. The so called “tantric sex” practices really do not help  people with this. In most cases it is just kinkiness and wild novelty  that makes people even more sexually compulsive. Meditation is about  finding inner love and sexuality is deepened by meditation. Instead of  desperately seeking pleasure through compulsive sexuality, one enjoys  deeper, more loving experiences with sexual intercourse and simply does  not have to go at it all of the time in desperate efforts for love,  happiness, and meaning. When one becomes truly in love with Spirit one  may even transcend sexuality. Entering into union with Spirit is  spiritual intercourse and is the greatest form of ecstasy that a human  being may experience.

Love is something that unites us and makes two different people feel  the same, to see things with equal understanding, and even progenate a  new being made in their image. If that is not mysticism, I do not know  what it is. It is natural mysticism, human mysticism, the mysticism of  nature (Shakti) and its creative expressions. Perhaps it is expressed in  the relative plane but the love that expresses itself here on earth  comes from the same source as the love that attracts us to the absolute  mysticism of the infinite consciousness, Shiva. In this relative world  everything is distinct and diverse and human or natural mysticism unites  everything that is separated by time, space, and person. There is more  variety in this mysticism. However, in the end I find it difficult to  say that it is something other than transcendental mysticism because  finally it is the same source of love that pulls everyone and everything  towards Itself. Human mysticism is a shared spirituality. Instead of a  solitary mind seeking eternal refuge in its own solitary process, one  seeks eternal union while being unified with others, and not necessarily  through romantic love but with love for friends, animals, and nature.

While it is possible to express pure love and reach mystical states  through maithuna, or spiritual sexuality, the most free form of maithuna  union is through pure mysticism. A developed yogi expresses sexuality  for producing very spiritual children or out of the most sacred  connection with one´s soul mate. After the evolution and full experience  of this process one may become a celibate. This is quite a different  process than a forced vow of celibacy. Instead of renouncing sexuality  through spiritual discipline one traverses through the whole gamut of  sexual evolution from physical, to emotional, to spiritual forms of  union with one´s sacred partner until one´s only desire is to merge with  pure Spirit.

Conserving the semen and seminal fluid redirects the tremendous  vitality that normally goes into the biological activity of reproduction  toward spiritual reproduction. Instead of being wasted through  excessive sexuality the vitality nourishes the nervous and endocrine  systems. A strong nervous system with all of the proper nutrients to  produce adequate hormones makes the will firm. Furthermore, there is a  subtle alchemical process of converting the reproductive intelligence of  the organism into spiritual reproduction. The brain that is fully  functional actually transmutes physical energy from the material,  biological level into mental energy. In other words, the spiritual mind  and brain actually has the capacity to transmute energy from one plane  to another. In ayurveda and yoga this refined, transmuted energy is  called “ojas.” Cosmologically, this is a conversion of energy from the  solid, or material, factor into the liquid, or bio-energetic, factor.  “Liquid” energy is not liquid in the physical sense, but a finer form of  matter similar to the concept of “chi” or “qui” in Chinese medicine.  Liquid energy is a step above the physical material level as an  intelligent flow of information that organizes matter into meaningful  activity. With more liquid ojas one´s bio-energetic field, or aura,  begins to magnify. One begins to feel subtle energies more within one´s  body as well as perceive this energy in others and in nature.

The more one is given over to the expression of energy into the  physical, sensual plane of reality, the less this conversion takes  place. Therefore, excessive sexuality is dangerous in that it locks the  mind into the error of seeing only the physical world and the pleasures  of the physical body. The higher levels of energy are not perceivable  for the sensualist and the process of physical-mental-spiritual  evolution is hampered. There are so many levels of matter beyond even  the “liquid.” In yoga, there are 5 levels of matter. Beyond matter is  the mind and beyond mind is the spirit. The materialist and sensualist  lives in the greatest illusion in that they really only perceive the  “solid” material of reality without even understanding the “liquid” and  other levels of subtle matter, not to mention understanding the pure  mind and Spirit.