• tantra maya
  • tantric rebellion

I grew up in the United States of America. I was born in 1972, at the beginning of the country’s final decline. Eisenhower tried to warn us about the dangers of the military-industrial complex more than a decade earlier than when I was born. With the secret manipulations of the Vietnam War, President Johnson had just sold out our democracy to the international bankers and multinational corporations that would eventually totally undermine the credibility of our government. This time was roughly the beginning of the end for the U.S. I felt it in my early childhood. My home was a safe haven but sometimes when I was out in the city with my mother I would feel that people were just not happy. I didn’t understand why intellectually, but I certainly felt the pervasive depression and ennui of materialistic, capitalist culture. I still have exactly the same feeling when I enter large cities and areas where really mundane people gather.

My intellectual discontent with our society came much later, when I was in high-school. I never had any reason to doubt the good intentions of our society and government. I grew up very non-political. My life was comfortable. I had everything I ever needed; physically, mentally, and spiritually. Of course, I later began some new spiritual adventures with my yogi friends from India, but the foundation and receptivity for that lifestyle was conditioned from my childhood.

My grandfather was a hero of the second world war. He was a simple farmer who was conscripted into military service. He continued to drive a tractor, albeit a giant one, all across Europe. He was always very intuitive. Once, when he was a teenager, he told his cousin that he had better pull the car over because the tire was about to explode. His cousin thought it was nonsense. A minute later the tire exploded. It turned out that this intuition saved him several times in the war, from the crossing of the Po River Valley and on into Bavaria.

He and his high school friend were taking their tractors from one battle site to another during the invasion of Italy. German Junker dive-bombers were screeching down to attack them. In the middle of the journey they come across some English platoon commanded by an Indian Sikh officer. He ordered them to dig a trench with their giant tractors to protect them from artillery. My grandfather saw in his mind’s eye that all of these men were about to die and that he had better leave. He disobeyed this officer and drove away. Just when he was leaving a shell exploded and killed the whole platoon.

He once had to clear the path across the Po River which was blocked by American tanks destroyed by German artillery. His officer gave the order and he said, “I don’t mean to be disrespectful sir, but there are 2 dozen dead men in those armed tanks that tried to cross the river. My tractor is open-caged and all I am wearing is a t-shirt.” His officer replied, “Don’t worry son, we have got you covered.” It took him 30 minutes to clear the path. All the while he had bullets bouncing off of his tractor and shells exploding all around him. When he returned to the shore nobody could believe he was alive.

His fellow soldiers started to note how he escaped the most impossible situations and began to stay close to him in conflicts because they knew he would be alright. He was always very calm and peaceful. I always felt safe with him and always lived nearby.

I saw the first images of carnage from the first Gulf War during my last year in high school. I was disgusted and ashamed. Although most of the teachers and leaders in society were supporting the government propaganda of a justified attack, there were also a few dissenters in the public school system who gave alternative views. I had been influenced by one such teacher. I really had no strong political views but I learned just enough of modern politics to entirely mistrust our government. At the same time a giant boil appeared on my cheek. It was enormous and swollen and very embarrassing. As the fluid oozed out all I could think about were the images of the bodies of the hotel clerks in Bhagdad who were killed by misguided guided missiles. I was ashamed to be an American. There was no more John Wayne and heroic Green Berets saving the day; just filthy rotten imperialists and duped, flag-waving morons robbing and murdering weaker societies for their natural resources. Well, for several years at least I vacillated between that extreme definition of my countrymen or the idea that they are also victims exploited by bad education and capitalist pseudo-culture. Either way, fascism always ends up taking hold of empires just before their demise.

During the second invasion of Iraq in the spring of 2003 the boil returned in exactly the same place. It was like a malevolent spirit that still haunted me. I was no longer ashamed of being an American because I had become a universal citizen by then. I really saw us as no more different than the German population around the time of Hitler. However, I still had those same feelings of disgust with the mindless American populace that unwittingly goes along with the plans of the military industrial complex, bankers and politicians that make all of this profitable war business and propaganda possible. More than just a rebellious attitude against authority, it was rather an attitude that these worms have no right to inflict this terror on any human being, especially when the justifications for aggression are based on crude lies.

I had just moved to Mexico in 2003 and met a young couple who were very concerned about the war. They were intelligent, educated, and had a very humanistic outlook. They had a new-born baby at the time and were a very happy family. However, they were horrified at how the United States was so blatantly pulling off this scheme that any reasonable intelligent person unbiased by Fox or CBS could clearly see through. The wife seemed to be deeply affected by the of war and was becoming even more so as time went on. Although I don’t think they were actively protesting in the streets, I did hear of them attending some social and ceremonial gatherings of a pacific nature. Slowly she began to become depressed and withdrawn. Nobody heard from her anymore. There was a Summer Solstice meditation event soon afterwards in which we heard from other friends that she had become very depressed, would not talk to anybody and was hardly even interested in caring for her baby. Her husband was very worried and did not understand what was happening to her.

She arrived and gave a faint smile to everyone. I hardly recognized her. There seemed to be nobody at home. My wife took her into a back room of the clinic away from all of the people participating in the festival in order to talk with her and give her some naturopathic treatments. I could see her husband was very concerned and was having to give a lot of time helping to care for the baby.

About an hour later I was called back into the room. My wife asked me to touch the crown of her head. She asked me if I could feel something strange. I did so and felt a terrible, evil presence. It was similar to the feeling I had with my boil but much, much stronger. I knew that this was an evil too powerful to be coming from her. It was like a giant, super-personal plasma blob of evil that was in the room. I felt sick and went into the next room to lie down. Ten minutes later my wife came in and said her patient was feeling much better. By that time I had already begun to decipher what was affecting her. My wife saw that I was abnormal and asked me if I absorbed something. I replied that I believe I had. My heart was pounding as if I had run a marathon. I could distinctly feel another presence inside of me. I had never felt like there was some other being existing inside me before. Yes, maybe I had had some strange experiences with deeper parts of my existence but it was always an experience with the various aspects of my own self. My wife immediately lost her non-attachment as a healer and began to worry about me. She wanted to take me to the hospital, which was quite ironic because she always “stole” patients from hospitals before the butchers took people’s organs out. She was crying and begging me not to die. I laughed and told her to shut up because I am fighting for my life with all of my force and the last thing I need is for my doctor to say I am going to die!

I lied there all night listening to the suggestions of this dark entity. I knew it was either it or I that would be alive in the morning. Fortunately, my life was very full and vibrant and I didn’t accept any of the suggestions from this evil. It was like a pattern that simply made everything negative and distorted- pessimistic and destructive thoughts, hateful feelings, while at the same time it siphoned the life out of the body. It was a contest to see which mental pattern would control this body, the evil plasma or my own conscience. I could now understand very well what was affecting our friend and her family.

After a few hours I recovered a little. The woman had fallen asleep and I went to speak with her husband. I was exhausted but said that I believe everything will now be alright. He seemed a little relieved. I awoke with a terrible headache. It stayed with me a week or so while this presence was being digested. In the meantime the family learned meditation and we spent much time with the baby and all was alright. It was the most terribly illuminating experience I had ever had up until that point in my life. It was the beginning of a live microvita study that has only gotten wilder as the years pass on.

How I Learned to Love the Apocalypse

There is an occult story about some yogis meditating in the Himalayas who intervened in the second world war. They were secretly moving astral energies so that the world would not be totally destroyed. They had the ability to enter and influence the minds of the mundane political figures on the world political scene. They knew that the dark forces of the Nazis and the Communists were actually able to destroy the entire civilized world if there were no great psychic intervention by yogis and highly realized beings. They made a deal and called in some celestial force from on high. But there was a problem. There were no “good” forces on the planet that these virtuous spiritual forces could manifest into. They could see that the entire planet would undergo radical apocalyptic changes within one hundred years. These changes would eventually destroy the domination of materialistic ideologies like capitalism and communism, but this time was still very far away and it seemed like the world would not make it through the second world war. The operation would require some special tinkering. They would have to use the best material available; the least evil: the Americans and the English. Now this was a difficult decision because these evolved beings saw almost no good in the imperialist English and Americans. They really helped spawn reactions to their own insidious imperialism with repercussions like Nazism and Communism. However, there was absolutely no good in Communism nor National Socialism. So these microvita or spiritual beings entered the bodies and minds of the Allies. It would warp and accelerate evolution. The war could be won, but the societies of people that received this boost would become very unstable afterwards. Most people would not be able to assimilate the new evolutionary speed and would most likely degenerate instead of evolve. It was a meta-physical political intervention on a very grand scale, and with great and necessary sacrifices to ensure that we would make it to the real and benevolent apocalypse in the future; a time when the materialistic forces will receive a final death blow.

Just after the battle of Dunkirk in which the Germans drove the Allies off of the continent, there was debate as to whether the Germans should invade England immediately or wait. The yogis decided to use this opportunity to influence the minds of Hitler and the generals not to invade because the yogis knew that victory would actually be with the Germans if they invaded and defeated the English at this time. The rest of the story is known history and the invasion never happened. After a few years of dead lock, the allies made great advances toward victory.

Sometimes I am inclined to believe such stories. I have seen such interesting occult influences on much smaller personal dramas than the second world war. Also, my grandfather had some interesting psychic experiences that helped him survive many battles and so I am inclined to accept such “fantastic” stories as being possible. It is at least great material for a novel and fun to consider.

If I were to continue the story I would say that the U.S. totally consumed the technological power, intelligence and evil of the Nazis but never really transmuted it into something better. Instead, fascism has a new multi-national disguise. U.S. imperialism has taken capitalistic tyranny to all corners of the globe. We became the carriers of Nazism. It was our duty to transmute this evil but it has consumed us. We have put it to such destructive use and it has almost destroyed all hope for the future. Yet not all of us are zombies, and the world still persists. Finally, now we come closer the end of the cycle…………

The “good” or “conscious” people will make it through this evolutionary pass. Now more positive microvita can enter into the collective mind. Mental influences translate themselves into subtle nervous and glandular activities that are awakening more psycho-spiritual potential in the species. Once again, it will have destructive effects for the masses; most will perish from illnesses as their psycho-physical parallelism will be disrupted. The body simply won’t be able to keep up with the imposed changes, but such is evolution. It is as if we are all going to get a mental “software” update. Is your “hardware” compatible? Have you struggled to evolve your nervous and glandular systems? Have you put your neocortex to good use? Are you ready to become the new human that your conscious, higher nature wants you to be?

The destruction of the majority of humans will come more through tensions with the inner dimensions of the mind rather than volcanoes and earthquakes. But volcanoes and earthquakes will also have their part.

by William Enckhausen email: