To see the world as a frameless photo and wander through the night, or submit to sweet affections for earthly form caressed in the light of the known.
Can we endure Your darkness and pass by the light from these wanderer’s inns ensconsed from this dark forest?
Into many such places have we wandered, been visitors in tidy rooms with polished, sturdy floors, taking refuge in comforts that won’t endure.
Sun sets and a gentle wind ripples through a field of wheat. Gold waves flow and the crickets tone to the silent Om and a silent love that fills all space. This heart reaches to touch the setting sun and forgets the hand can’t always reach where I am.
Deeper into night, infinite vision hastens me onward. entreating me to await the new dawn. Your darkness is more certain than form and self, It is only You that I see clearly.
Are you Father, Mother, Lover, or Friend, dear, eternal I that lives and breathes me?
Your quiet I sees all that is flowing within the banks of our great being; the light of billions of setting suns, the evolution of innumerable lives, the rise and fall of countless empires, seeing the great reduced to nothing and those reduced again made great.
Few fathom your great secret, tread against your outward flow, and capture the lord of creation at rest beyond the play. Eternally here, source reflects only source, a quiet pool without ripple nor reflection, we sink into sweet unknowing.
I once wrote about how a yogi in India taught me how to consciously leave my body and invoke an experience similar to what is known as the near death experience. In this very lucid state outside of my physical body I spoke with the luminous form of the guru. As in previous dreams, he told me very intelligent and insightful instructions for meditation. “See the world as a frameless photo and wander through the night,” he told me. However, in this out of body experience he showed me my future. I saw my whole life flash in front of me. For many years there would be intense suffering but I saw a very glorious and liberated future after these trials. I saw my future homes and life situations and so many things I experience in my life are like deja vu in that I have already seen this happen. However, the deja vu is not of an unknown origin and I remember this lucid dream with Anandamurti. At that time I had just become Vishal. I never renounced or stopped being William Enckhausen, but I was just in an environment in which people called me “Vishal.” Years later, in mid-life, at the age of 40, I began to have those intense experiences again and I thought I would leave my body. 20 years earlier Anandamjurti essentially told me I no longer had a name, that life was like a photo in constant movement that cannot be framed. It took me years to understand why and to eventually leave my identification with the name. However, during these experiences when I was 40 I felt that Vishal was just an empty shell. I could still identify with William Enckhausen but it did not bind me enough to remain grounded in the world. I have no family left and very few people know me by this name. I could remember my whole life very clearly and felt that it was so easy to be William, too easy in fact. I felt weightless and stopped breathing in meditation for long periods of time. At that time I had another dream of Anandamurti in which he called me “Quetzal.” It made perfect sense to me as the very first spiritual vision associated with the kundalini at age 21 was not even associated with Anandamurti, but with a vision of Quetzalcoatl. Really, this was not a mere “vision.” I felt the “serpent power” of the kundalini rising within me as I saw a turquoise quetzal approaching in my mind’s eye. The kundalini reached the crown of my head at the same time the quetzal bird landed on the crown of my head. Heaven and earth were united in mystical vison and I merged into Hunab Ku, the formless Witness or Atman. The Atman is nameless and formless and accompanies us from before our first breaths until after our last. I think Anandamurti called me “Quetzal” so that I could see a new future, a new drama, in this “Witness” protection program. However, William, Vishal, or Quetzal are names that could only possibly refer to the relative, ever-changing and phenomenal person who is but an object for the immortal Atman, the Supreme Subjectivity, the essential person of all persons. Ultimately, our names are writ in water but our Witness always is. Those who take protection under the gentle and warm rays of the Atman attain liberation and eternal bliss.